Attack of the Bees!!! RUN!!!!

Dear readers....

Gee! I haven't blogged in SOOOO BLARDY LONG! And now that my wonderful stint at MTV is drawing to a close, there's finally some breathing space and some blogging time.

Alrighty... I do admit this blog has served its narcissistic purpose and I'm free from emotional baggages now. But hey, blogging does help you think and record down life's little epiphanies more! So here it is... the latest entry on La Turbulent Twenties' life.... the fabulous life of a 20-something independent girl!! *WOOHOO!!! PINK POWER!*

It all began when l'il moi got chatted up by a young punk in hiphop class yesterday. He was SO interested until he found out I'm just one year short of graduating uni. Young punk's only like 19???!!! My bro's age. And then there was the salsa class young punk in army. MUAHAHAHA!!! To think they actually thought I looked that young. Woohoo!!! Made my day man! *thank you, DAH-lings!*

Whole barrage of msges came this morning..... First the msges on friendster. It's been relatively quiet for a while but check this out!!!

hi...erm...i know u get msges from guys wantin to know u n all tat...honestly i'm likewise but i juz wana make a difference...i wana know u badly...i understand if u'l reject tis mail...i had tis feel good feelin in mi when i 1st set sight on ur pic...SiX

This msg just got me laughing my head off man! I mean... how despo can one sound? My gosh!

Killer bee returned from C.... and sent a gift to my house. Right to my door step. It freaked my Mom out like the time he sent flowers over. She thought someone was stalking me. Oddly enough I didn't find him irritating this time. It was quite sweet that he remembered me and bought me something after all this long while I've been such a biatch and ignoring him.

Korean Bee finally msged again (his Mom came to visit and I think he was too caught up eating Kimchi to meet up) ... so it's a MOVIE DATE! :) someday... I dunno when. But looking fwd to it!

Meanwhile, ths NUS Ramaninov fan sent a nice email today....

Hey Clarie
Apologies for taking so long to write. Been wanting to write to u since lastweek, but it was really tight. Have I told u I have a part time job? I dofreelance work for MCYS. Deadline due, so was rushing to wrap up my work.Training for my IPPT too. Meaning to write last fri but ended up in Velvet,'cos some Taiwanese friends came and wanted to go. And on sat, it was RoyalBallet's Swan Lake!! It's was awesome!!! It ended real late, at 11:30pm. Sohere I write... .Pity that we missed the arts fest's Rach's Paganini. Shouldn't wait foranother Rach to ask u out rite? How abt War of the World? :)
Shin

This dude's a diver, he loves Rachie and he loves Taiwan too! Pretty potent combination. But I've yet to meet him or talk to him face to face so it may be too early to judge. But from the emails he's been sending me narrating his adventures in Taiwan, he seems witty and cool. A keeper I would say...

Too bad I'm already watching War Of the Worlds with MTV.... MUAHAHAHA!!!

On to a bad bee..... this one's one helluva irritating insurance agent! I told him I've already bought a policy from my 'boyfriend' *ahem... non-existent one of course* and still he's so darn persistent. Msges every now and then like Killer Bee. It's amazing how desperate some people are! Msged me something in Chinese today.... It goes something like this:

Love asked Friendship why is it that Friendship exists when Love alone is enough.

Friendship replied that Love exists to make people cry and Friendship exists to dry up the tears.

True? Maybe.... but me thinks love exists for other reasons too. This msg is too pessismistic a view.

Finally, on to a very very bad 'bee'. He's not exactly a bee but he's definitely buzzing round causing great threat to my emotional well-being.

Yes... so and so has broken up..... Just as I predicted. Why? Cos the sillly cow returned to her ex. And there I was saying that it was a rebound relationship and all those tears and crying and endless pleading fell on deaf ears. For 4 months I was stricken and my words meant nothing. And finally it all made sense. Foolish pigs!

And I recalled the moments when my heart was totally shredded to pieces and stomped on and I shed tears for myself. I didn't have to put up with that but I did. And now the person who had caused it is back.

And somehow I wished Jo and him didn't split up. Cos now I'm faced with this dilemma of whether to be nice to him and risk having him come after me again (and knowing myself I'll be so soft-hearted). After all, we've been soulmates for nearly 2 years and I'll always have a soft spot for him.

But I fear my own weakness and that whatever decision I make will be the wrong one. This is purely hypothetical cos I don't think I have the time or means to be attached anyway....

If I were to be back to him and something goes wrong somewhere, I'll kick myself for being so stupid. But what if the other way happens? What if it's something like "A lot like Love"? What if we're just totally suited to be together but can't see it and make mistakes and forever miss each other like that?

I never asked to be in this difficult position so I was pretty peeved to hear that Jo and him split up. It was just too disrespectful of my efforts to give him up. It made all those months of intense pain and sadness seem like nothing. And the fact that he wasn't even sad about losing Jo made me all the more mad!

I mean.... he chose her over me after all! And now he's not sad over her.... says a lot about how much he values our relationship. Thank you!

Anyway... he msged and asked me sillly questions like did I still love him....

Of course I do... but I don't think it's the romantic kind anymore. It's more the family kind. Because after 6 months of singlehood, while I still care for him, I no longer need him to be happy anymore. I no longer build my world and shape my character around him.

Doormat has graduated!!! And she's become a player!

Yes, Claire has become a player! Quite a discerning one too! She doesn't go out too easily but she does enjoy her dates when she goes for them.

Alrighty....

that's all for bees update now.