ALL JUNKED UP

I'm finally coming round to the end of my Uni days... kinda sad. I do like it lots. In fact, even in my worse days, I liked it. Looking back now I actually think I loved every one of my 4 years there. Not the school itself. I HATE the location... but the environment, the stuff I did, the people and the life lessons.

Most importantly the people and life lessons, for what use is that piece of certificate to me other than landing my 1st job?

I loved and lost, then loved again in these grounds. The canteens, the stairways, the corridors, the lifts, the slope down Nany*ng Hill, the pool, the track, the dance studios.... every single part of it is so deeply etched in my memory.

And of course dear S*I, the building in blue itself. I have a love-hate relationship with it man.... I hate the MMLab for its smell, for its memory of night after night of editing... I love the vending machine. I hate the toilet.... (it's not dirty. I just don't like it).... I love the Benches and resource centre where you can watch free DVDs of the most interesting artsy films. I love the audio and DJ suites for their homely feel. I'm SO at home with audio. I hate the broadcast prac room for its paint smell and its sub-zero temperature.

I loved the profs. Even the most boring ones are likeable in their own lil way.

Had FYP moderation yest and today's the screening of the 12 short films everyone did.

Realised I haven't blogged in eons and I mean like...... EEEOOONNNSSS... But anyway, life as usual has been turbulent. Lotsa ups and downs, but I'm happy to announce that it's 90% UP, which is HEY! THAT'S AWESOME! Unprecedented in fact.

The main reason is......... *drumrolls*....... I've been getting wooed. Lots. No, no more bees in picture. They're gone cos the flowering period is over. Now's the harvest period for the fruits of my labour.... which is why I'm so happy.

1st harvest was Mr D. Now the story goes that love comes when you least expect it. I was just busying ard with my life of school, projects and some parties when Mr D came knock-knocking and reappeared. Mr D has been exceptionally nice. So nice sometimes I can't believe it. To cut the long story short, he stopped letting me down.








He even woed me with a nice V-day dinner at a certain 5 star hotel. I was so happy I teared a bit. Ergo the reddish eyes.

And this is the most amazing and biggest tiramisu I've had in my entire life. And that sweetness seeped into my heart.

Then came the movies, the dinners, the dancing and the occasional zany stuff we do like pop down to shop at Mustafa at 2am in the morning, pretending to be students of SMU and touring their grounds on another day (their gym's WICKED).... and we are happy again.

I can't say he wasn't a bastard then, but he is sincere now. And through my FYP crunch time when I perpetually needed help, he was there despite work and all. And he drove the bees away and I'm not any sorry for it.

So I guess I've joined the ranks of the attached again. He really knows me best. My movie tastes, my music tastes, my dance tastes... He even anticipates my quips to his comments before I say them.

And that's great cos then I don't have to talk so much like I do with other guys. I can RELAX!

Career-wise, my efforts in starting early are paying off too. Landed interviews with every job I've applied for though I didn't ace all of them. Walked into the 1st few looking like a zombie from 28 Days. Blame it on FYP.

But anyway, 4 interviews, 2 rejection letters, tonnes and tonnes of concealer for my eyebags later, I got a job offer on my 4th interview!! I'm happy with it but still shopping around abit... just in case.

You see, I'm still torn between bread and butter and pursuing what I really wanna do. But if.... just if, I can find the shortcut to bypass the bread and butter stage, I can just go directly to what I really wanna do. Right?

Sorry that sounded so cryptic. I just don't wanna pay my ass off for education loans should I decide to pursue higher learning.

I've come to think that THIS is the quarter-life crises. THIS is the crossroad. Where can I go from here? Everything's hanging in the air and everything's uncertain. Which steps should I take to achieve my goals? And can I bypass them to achieve more in less time?

But the point is, I'm so afriad to take those steps... because one wrong step and you'll be cast out from the SG system. That's how SG society works. Oh well...

Turbulent twenties is such because of this. But I like the thrill of it sometimes. It's precisely because you have the choice that makes life so fun, so powerful. Imagine being born rich and destined to take over family business and have heaps of expectations on you. Yes, you do own power, but you've no control of your destiny. And because I have this choice, life is that much richer.

This word 'DESTINY' has been haunting me. Recently started following Jasmine to church and it's been great for my soul. Wouldn't say I'm into the whole religion business yet, but the life lessons are so profound and empowering you just keep wanting to go back. And they talked about destiny and how we should all strive to be in positions of influence.

What does it take to be in positions of influence? I don't think the bread and butter job will give me that. I need to be in media or politics to have that. Mr D very smartly pointed out that to get to positions of influence, you need tonnes of experience, a total understanding of the working world and for people to respect you for all that. So how is a fresh grad able to achieve that kinda position just like that? So I should just start out whereever I can and be the best in that field and many doors will open from there.

I kind of agree. But I'm just worried that after being in 'bread and butter' for too long, I can't go back to media anymore. Then i'll be really upset.

Okay, I think I've rambled on enough.

What else happened?

Oh, I acted in 2 plays for friends doing directing. Grew quite close to theatre peeps during this time... It's so comfortable being with them. No expectation, great humour, common ideas, we talk crap everyday and pass them off as artistic 'theatrical' stuff. I love it.

Went through some really hilarious moments putting up stuff and preparing presentations, especially staging A's "Les Liaisons Dangerouses", wayang kulit style, complete with shadows, red lighting and miles and miles of sleeves for dramatic effect. MAN! I SO had a kick swishing those cloth around like some Russian gymnast with her ribbon.

Then in another staging, they projected "Deep Throat"(one of the 1st few porn movies ever made) in the background while people acted. And it was so graphic and gross that even the guy next to me said "EEEW"...... Hilarious. But that's modern theatre for you. Lotsa sexed up beings who're homos and violent homos at that. It's crazy.

Went down to support this junior of mine who's gonna be a GREAT singing sensation one day. She's so small but SO POWERFUL! And so full of zest and energy that I think i'll burn out within 2 days if I were her. PLUS she looks like Ja*me Teo. There is she, the girl next to me in white stripe shirt.


Discovered more nooks an crannies to chill out in SG.

1) Minds cafe--- I'm a boardgame-phile. I can spend 6 hours there. So sue me!

2) Hark Music Cafe--- Where ze junior croons at to a live band. You get nice ambience and some rather delicious-looking food. And I meant "looking" only. Haven't actually tried them.

3) Altivo--- Great place with amazing view, but they should REALLY replace the radio station with Lush instead of Class.

Hmm.... had some great parties recently with Funky T's gigs and mr T in CL*O eligible bachelor. then miss goondu got into MSU finals so all's grand.

Weekends are mostly spent with shal, john, jas and co chilling out, catching up on life and dance, church, dating mr D, studying a bit. It's a nice predictable pattern which I'm content with again. It's great to have this core group of friends around me.

Mom gave me a rose quartz crystal bracelet from Taiwan to help in emotional healing and stability and for better relationships with people in general. I guess it's working. Everything seems so much more stable.

My Buddhist nun aunt came visiting and she's such a jolly, cute roly poly nun. Bought me this pseudo-Vietnamese top that I'll never be caught dead in, but which she thinks is perfect for me. Oh well, I love her all the same.

Dad got posted to Shenzhen. Won't be back till 4 months later, and Mom has recently commented that on days when my bro and I are both out, she feels sorta empty. I call it the "empty nesters syndrome".

Dad writes back to the family via email using pretty broken English. But I'm pretty touched by this. Reason being when at home, he says a a maximum of perhaps 2 sentences each to my bro and I everyday. He's a man of few words, I think. Taciturn. Plus being away for business during our growing years made him slightly removed.

It's funny how distance can enhance our communication. The emails reveal so much more about our father than his actual physical presence at home. Oh, the power of words!

Bro's entering army soon. Damn, I'm gonna miss the horrid boy.

On another note, I've watched so many great movies recently for Film module and outside. Titles to recommend include:

- Suzhou River
- Les Poupees Russes (sequel to Spanish Apartments)
- Kabhie Kushi Kabhie Gham
- Beautiful Boxer
-V for Vendetta

I didn't like "Rent" but hope "Take the Lead" will be good.

Bought this to-die-for album by Serg*o M*endes. He rocks.

It's Mr D's bday soon. What should I do??

Blah Blah Blah... it's a damn long post. But this old girl hasn't written in a while. You gotta forgive her.