Cold War At Home

I absolutely hate being home too much, cos my Empress Dowager of a mom will start acting up. I'm just thankful these will be one of the last few days she'll see much of me for the years to come.

First, she started off being absolutely supportive through my exam period and was so happy and proud that I passed in a jiffy. Things started turning bad when I spent a lil too long watching Ugly Betty and SATC. She'll pop her head in and scream at me for no rhyme or reason.

Case in point, one day she came home with lunch and I didn't even ask for it. And she said the person gave me brinjal by accident and it was meant for her, so I said fine then... I'll pass you the brinjal, no problem with that. She wasn't happy, saying I'll only have 2 sides with my rice and I said it doesn't matter. Then she insisted I tried the brinjal which was all mashed up and disgusting and I said I didn't want to politely. She could have it. She TOTALLY insisted again, and I started getting impatient, saying I never liked brinjal, then she started screaming that I'll eat whatever she asked me to. It was CRAZY!!!

I said I couldn't eat brinjal. Never liked it and I'm 24. I think i've lived long enough to know what I like or what I don't. She absolutely wasn't listening!!! Started screaming in the kitchen that I was this unfilial kid and all... MY GOSH!

Anyhow, I ate a slice just to shut her up. "There, happy?"

She couldn't say anything but heaved with anger while I scooped the remaining brinjal to her lunchbox. Then for the WHOLE FRIGGIN DAY, she gave me that cold shoulder and spoke harshly and curtly whenever I talked to her.

Scenario 2:

Just yesterday afternoon, she asked...correction, ORDERED that I was to help her dye her hair that evening. Asked if I was going out, and I said, yea, I'm going to gym, be back round 11-12ish. She wasn't happy it's so late, so I said, well we could do it now, i'll only be out in the evening, but she said she has students. Fair enough.

That night, I did my yoga class, ran a bit, had a nice steaming session and bath and was feeling rather dandy on the way home with my ipod and book, when she called. At 11.50. She started dyeing her hair without me and wanted me to be home IMMEDIATELY to dye the behinds. And I said, well, I'm on the train and there're 2 more stops to go, so she can expect me back in less than 15 mins, and she slammed down the phone.

When I got back, it was 12.05. BAD NEWS: she's done with her hair.

So I said, who did it for you? Was it my brother? She screamed she did it herself, and that if she'd waited for 10 minutes even, her dye would have dried out.

*cold shoulder as she watches TV*

Finally, she couldn't take it anymore, so decided to give me a thorough tongue-lashing.

EVERYTHING came out. I'm unfilial, I don't keep promises, blah blah blah... And I'm like COME ON! I'm only 5 minutes late and I didn't even KNOW you started dyeing your hair. Couldn't you have called me to give some advance warning, saying I gotta be home by XX time to dye the behinds?

Then she screamed that I'm such a bad girl to stay out so late (excuse me, i'm just gymming) and that because of me, she did her behinds and it was blotchy or whatever. Seriously, if she wasn't so hung up on the whole 'natural dye only' thing and only used henna dye, she could've gone to the salon and would've saved everyone a lot of trouble.

Scenario 3:

Lunch time a few days ago. Came back from grocery shopping saying she had to carry everything back herself cos she couldn't find her Easilink card. and she thinks I STOLE IT!?!?! And I'm like, well, i definitely have NOT seen your card and I have my own, why would I take yours? And she's like then who else wouldn've taken it? EXCUSE ME?? there can be so many other people? Why me???? Just cos i stayed at home? And she's REALLY PEEVED. Kept asking me why is it she can't find it.

So I just called my brother and asked if he took it, cos he takes public transport to camp every morning. And he did. And turns out she only has that ONE CARD in her purse, and it was a misunderstanding cos she told him to take from her white bag, but he took from her purse, WHICH made her unable to take a bus and she walked back.

In the end, she found the extra cards and the one my brother's supposed to have taken in her other bags.

Yea, so it's my fault again. For some peculiar reason, I was given the cold shoulder the whole afternoon again.

Scenario 4:

Lunch time. I had a late breakfast, so when she came back with food, I didn't really wanna eat it. After opening the door for her, I ran upstairs to do the unglamourous (ie. pee). She screamed at me saying "Didn't you say you wanna eat?", and I replied, "Hold on, ok? I'm in the loo" And she screamed as if it's my fault "Zao3 bu shang4, wan3 bu shang4, pian1 pian1 zhe4 ge shi2 hou4 shang4" (translation: Why do you have to do it now, and not earlier nor later?)

And I'm just shocked that she even finds fault with answering the call of nature!!

And then there are all the age-old scenarios which everyone knows by now..... how she thinks all clubs/pubs/night spots (even live jazz pubs) are bad places, filled with smoke, drugs and people who prostitute themselves; how she hates me staying out late cos it means i'll be cabbing back with the midnight surcharge; how she's icky about sleepovers; the curfew she's set for me (I'm 24 for heaven's sake!).

She even hates SATC!!! Can't understand why 4 women have seemingly nothing to do in their lives but get together and talk about sex. And she's so afriad I'll become like them, and she'll ask, Am I like them??

So I told her, it's a lot more than that. There're a lot of relationship issues discussed as well, and these are successful career women with character who run their own lives. I don't agree with them all the time especially pertaining to sexual freedom, but there're other stuff which I can relate to, like Mr Big the asshole.

And she'll say, "In my days..... " blah blah blah, which just makes me REALLY feel like rolling my eyes, only I can't do that. I can only appeal to her logic, but she's really emotional...WOMEN!
Correction: Menopausal women are a force to be reckoned with.

Then again, so are PMS-ing women. Hah!